Newsletter #415 - Wealth Redistribution

Hey Shitcoiners,

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It’s been a while since we had a $100M+ hack… but this was the week. Bitget were the victims on this occasion, losing $350M in the process. Luckily for users, their “User Protection Fund” currently holds more than $464M. This is a developing situation.

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Yuge.

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Thoughts immediately turned to who was behind it. Word on the street is that it’s the DPRK.

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These are no amateurs. They know what’s up. They ran away from the Arbitrum Security Council to safer corners of crypto (Circle).

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Jeff suspected some shenanigans back in 2023. This isn't quite FTX-level yet, but time will tell.

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In some unfortunate timing, Bitget were celebrating their 8th birthday and the social media intern had a mountain photoshoot scheduled. RIP.

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Over on Bitcoin, a new paper announced Shielded Bitcoin. LayerTwo Labs replied.

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“It will likely take years of research and scrutiny before there is enough confidence in these constructions for use in Bitcoin applications — and realistically, that confidence may never materialize.”

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Going in the other direction are Hodl Hodl. They have rolled out some “enhanced security scoring” which sounds a lot like AML to us. Peter Todd does not approve.

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Taiki has had a generational run in this bear market. The man has been shouting about Zcash for months and his prophecy is coming true.

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He’s built different.

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They’re calling him the George Soros of the 21st century.

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The heights of this developing Taiki lore can only be exceeded by a few. One of those men is Jeff.

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Garrett Jin’s positions have also been getting him attention. He closed his ZEC short for a $35M loss, but he still sits on $309M of spot ZEC. We have a feeling Garrett is going to be fine, despite the Lookonchain features.

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We are seeing a massive wealth redistribution in real time. Take notes.

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Ah, simpler times.

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You used to make money, now you watch your agent trader lose on a daily basis.

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Remember when everyone was automating Kalshi trading? They might have been LARPing.

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The timeline never ceases to amaze us. One influencoooor blacklists Frank’s wallets, so he can’t participate and tank the price, then proceeds to dump his bags. You can’t make this up.

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Speaking of shitters, the accounting for LAPTOP is allegedly coming.

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Matt, he’s burning tokens.

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And he’s making predictions.

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2026, the year Hunter Biden saved crypto.

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If you bought LAPTOP, your accountant will laugh at you. If you bought what this next guy was buying, your accountant may think you’re going to hell. Is he up though?

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