Newsletter #399 - Send Help

Hey Shitcoiners,

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It has been another wild week in the world of crypto. We have plenty of spicy commentary and content for you to devour but first, be sure to check out the latest episode of the Shitcoin Weekly.

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We kicked off the week with news that Strategy had moved some BTC to Coinbase Prime. Were sells coming?

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They were. Saylor’s firm sold a grand total of 32 BTC to cover dividend payments for his STRC project but that was all it took to send markets into a downward spiral. The loss in value would be spectacular.

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Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

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We will just leave this here.

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RIP.

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There are many ways to make money in this industry. One CT community member took to Polymarket, it didn’t end well.

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Is there some masterplan at play that we aren’t aware of? What happens next is critical.

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Saylor is allegedly unfazed by the situation.

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Where do we go from here? Unfortunately for us, Strategy still has plenty of BTC to offload if they need to.

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If the Saylor situation wasn’t bad enough, our bags have IPO szn to contend with.

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The life support machines are working overtime.

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We are always on the search for silver linings at Shitcoin HQ. Following his recent track record, it’s a fair call to bet against James Wynn.

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Unfortunately, he might be on the right side this time. RIP.

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What if.

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If you feel like this market is aging you, then you are probably right.

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Definitely right.

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Embrace it, it’s already happened. My thots exactly, wleo uleoweow weoleow.

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If you were looking for safety in Zcash we have bad news for you, Raoul Pal is in.

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As if by magic, Zcash would experience one of the most damaging moments in its history. A critical Orchard vulnerability had existed for ~4 years with no way to prove whether it was used to create counterfeit coins. TLDR below.

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Imagine selling your ETH, pivoting to ZEC and immediately being down 30%. You can’t make this up.

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That’s the prompt.

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When market participants are down on their luck, Pump.fun delivers just what they need. A bounty platform where anything goes. This feels so Black Mirror.

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Yikes.

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For those of you not looking to do ridiculous things for bounties, there is another way to earn on the platform. Gg.

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Over on Cardano, all is not looking well.

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The man says he can do nothing. So the only logical thing for Charles to do is go AFK.

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Speaking of grandparents, Ptardio is heading to the Mediterranean and he is open to bringing along a companion.

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We wonder if he will be joining Arthur for his two-step in beefa?

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If you never had a HYPE bag to begin with, we have bad news for you. All you had to do was connect your account.

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Anyway back to Arthur, he ran a meme competition and in a shocking twist, Kyle Samani was the butt of the joke.

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Solana users are really dunking on the most successful onchain perp DEX of all time?

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Unrelated.

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In other big money moves, Lookonchain reported that Cobie was moving some LDO, which he denied.

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They must send him their elonbucks as a forfeit.

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This newsletter has been a lot of doom and gloom, so here is something wholesome for you. Well played 0xflorent.eth.

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We round this one off with a reminder, there are zombie chains all around us. And no one cares.

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Until next week.

Team Shitcoin.com