June 7, 2024

Newsletter #296 - Celebrity Coins, Presidents & Jail

Hi Shitcoiners,

Another spicy week in the books! This week a new episode of Wage Cucking With Jmo dropped and it was a fun one. As this bull market continues, tune in and hear about election tokens, celebrity coins, and some strategies to preserve your gains.

To the action! Saylor compared Bitcoin to a bank in heaven, run by God. This man’s metaphors have no limits.

Donald has been taking notes out of Saylor’s book and is getting the Bitcoin vote on his side. You can now donate to his campaign with Lightning. We hope those payments don’t fail.

In other Trump news, Standard Chartered told us this week that our bags will moon if we are bullish on orange man.

However, not everyone in the space wants Trump in office. Brett Harrison had some concerns.

There is always an alternative that looks horrendously unattractive.

He wants to nuke the industry!

Speaking of international affairs, CMS still doesn’t like Europe.

Back to Bitcoin now. Bitcoin L2 szn hasn’t really taken off yet and will it ever? If it does, remember that we have always had the concept of sidechains.

Are you looking for multiples this cycle? ETH is probably not your best bet. VanEck have predicted a 5.78x in the next 6 years. You will do minimal multiples and you will be happy.

Iggy Azalea’s $MOTHER token has been making waves this week. She is pretty fresh to the industry which meant she was primed for an inversebrah. Arthur got his latest entry in the bag.

However, her bags are pumping.

The community has been split. Many are shitting all over the project, while others are becoming cheerleaders. Vitalik does not like what is going down.

Iggy replied.

They the old days!

What if?

This might have gone over Iggy’s head, but there is always a solution to get rid of the trolls. You go full EigenLayer on their ass.

Ansem jumped to Iggy’s defence during the Vitalik confrontation but the Ethereum co-founder chose violence.

We interrupt this celebrity coin segment for a piece of excellent content for you. The Steady Lads podcast delivers. Here’s their latest episode.

It’s rough out there, celebrity rugs are everywhere. Hulk Hogan’s reputation was one of this week’s casualties.

Imagine being a fan and losing $100k because of your idol.

But don’t let that put you off. Stay in that basement and keep max bidding. You might have your own RoaringKitty moment.

Or instead venture outside and you could be trolled to infinity.

Speaking of cringe, here’s the worst NFT we have seen in a while.

If you are looking to stay safe this bull run, you may be looking out for audits. Unfortunately, it looks like those Certik guys have a high tolerance for risk.

Jesse Pollak must have already made it dozens of times over if he’s considering walking away for 3 weeks right now.

To imprisonment news now. CZ has been located. 4.

And with his time on the inside, we have some forced staking. Winning!

Luckily for CZ he is in a low security, white collar prison. Supposedly it “will be great for the other inmates to learn from him”. Where do we sign up?

The “Find an inmate” tool is great. It’s a treasure trove. It turns out SBF and Avi are bunkies. You can’t make this shit up.

In other behind bars news, one woman in the UK has been found with $2bn of Bitcoin and jailed.

Meanwhile we have some positive updates from the Roger Ver case. He is finally out on bail.

Roger has had some heated moments with Calvin Ayre and CSW in the past. It turns out they are turning against each other. Calvin is removing all mentions of Craig from the Ayre Group website.

To exchanges! DMM have had a major hack. $305m has left their control. RIP.

Speaking of Japan, here’s Arthur Hayes with his latest piece titled “Group of Fools”. It involves a lot of Yen talk plus ends with some S tier bullposting.

As we finish this one up, here’s a very wholesome exchange between Micon and Jmo. Click and enjoy.

Team Shitcoin.com