May 31, 2024

Newsletter #295 - This Is Wild

Hey Shitcoiners,

Oh boy, do we have an excellent newsletter for you this week. It’s a long one, we hope you are ready. Let’s get started.

Before Trump hit the headlines this week as he was found guilty in his New York trial, he made waves as he brought Bitcoin (and crypto as a whole) into the race to The White House.

Crypto is here to stay.

We’ll take it.

As will Dudas, even though he’s not really a fan of orange man.

Block lives matter!

Whispers about Trump being pro-Bitcoin aren’t new. Here’s cryptograffiti being ahead of his time. Check the date on the tweet.

Another great addition to Trump’s crypto battle cry was the news that he would commute Ross Ulbricht’s sentence if he was voted into office.

So Americans, how many of you are ready to become single issue voters?

Or will Joe win you over with a last ditch effort for your vote?

The FTX fallout did some serious damage to the industry’s public image and the aftermath continues. Ryan Salame has been sentenced.

Some tweets just do not age well.

Surprisingly, Ryan is back on our timelines. He’s looking for a public interview!

He put it on a platter really.

What does this mean?!?!

Maybe it’s obvious.

Ryan is heading behind bars, but he wants to share the ins and outs of the situation first.

Will Ledger be the man for the job?

It’s all very confusing.

The FTX situation has caused plenty of heartache but it has also created top quality memes. Tooker Kurlson with an exclusive next.

Speaking of another man behind bars, our thoughts go out to Tigran Gambaryan. The Binance executive is having a rough time in Nigeria.

That’s enough doom and gloom for now. Let’s do some self loathing in the form of trading lessons! This whole thing is really just simple math.

And buying the dip is not rocket science. Buy high, sell low is a rite of passage.

Your exit strategy looks very legitimate.

Memecoins took over our timelines over the past few days, but not the dog and cat coins we know and love. This week we were blessed with an onslaught of celebrity coins. First up was Caitlyn Jenner.

As expected, this would perform horribly. Things were so bad that they resorted to launching on another chain as a last ditch effort to get some attention. RIP.

Iggy Azalea would also get in on the action, however, word on the street is that her launch was forced. The guy behind $JENNER, a known pump and dumper, attempted to get Iggy on board. She declined the offer and launched by herself.

Look how far we have come!

It really is a special time to be alive.

It’s all getting too much.

All of this action really has done wonder for Solona. If this isn’t a top signal we don’t know what is.

Here’s another top signal for you.

Oh, and another.

We interrupt this newsletter for an important ZachXBT-related update. He has added the CEO of Wintermute to his watch list. Ouch.

Also on one of Zach’s lists may be the wallets associated with the NORMIE exploit. One trader has not come out of this well at all. Yikes.

We have no idea if this is real or not.

While many on-chain situations have unsavoury outcomes, here’s one case of some lost crypto hat turned out well.

Back to Solana, are PayPal giving their users a feature Bitcoiners have been after for years? It looks that way.

Anyway, that’s enough innovation on Solana. The chain is basically a playground for degeneracy at this point. For 250 SOL you can have an “unforgettable night” with a Playboy Playmate. What an awkward thread.

She’s one of Ansems Angels now. Okay.

We didn’t know Ansem was a parent, but this is getting pretty out of hand now.

Picture this. 10 OG Solana girls. One villa in Thailand. Yes, welcome to The Real Housewives of Solana. We are speechless.

When choosing a woman to spend your life with, it’s important to spot the red flags. Another weird thread but a riveting read nonetheless.

Mt. Gox coins were on the move this week. As expected, the speculation began.

But Mark said they were just moving some of your coins around because why not?

Where is your money?

A lot has changed since the Mt. Gox days. We now have Bitcoiners attempting to build DeFi. Here’s a glance into how this looks to Ethereum devs.

Saylor has now accepted that BTC will not be the only ETF. However, he does think Bitcoin will be the leader. Expert pivoting here from Michael.

The ETH ETF approval has made many some serious gains. CL is now considering whether he should buy a castle or not. Max told him this is a terrible idea. Max is the 0.00001%.

He’s high IQ too.

If you are doing quite well for yourself this bullrun, get Junseth something for his baby!

Or if you haven’t done well so far, calculate how much you could have had if things turned out differently.

And think about what you have done.

Anyway, we will end this on a high note. We hope that you are basking in being eternally correct. If this is you, congratulations, champ.