January 14, 2024

Newsletter #275 - Have You Heard About The Bitcoin ETF?

Hey Shitcoiners,

The newsletter is arriving in your inboxes a little later than usual this week but as always, it delivers. The past seven days have been dominated by the Bitcoin ETF. We have been waiting quite a while for this. Keep reading to learn how it all went down.

As the week kicked off, Gensler took to Twitter to tell us to be cautious. Many took this as a pre-announcement of an announcement. Was the ETF about to drop?

Fast forward 24 hours and it appeared that it was time. The SEC posted a tweet.


But alas, in a twist that you literally couldn’t make up, that announcement was premature. Someone had gained access to the SEC account and created a shitstorm in the markets.

The interns have been running wild this ETF szn.

The theories began.

@Safety was on the case. Not only were the SEC trying to work out what happened, but the X team were digging around too.

The hacker did a great job of fooling us all. If only they were a 4chan shitposter though. What could have been…

Tweets like these can have some serious ramifications. In a matter of hours, over $300 million had been liquidated. REKT.

The ETFs would get started though. And when they did, the buys would come in thick and fast. Everyone started dreaming of $100k Bitcoin.

The top buyers from the last bull run were finally going to break even!

The ETF race has been heating up for a few months. We have seen endless promotional campaigns, boomer ads (some of which were pretty good) and lots of talk about who would come out on top. After the first day of trading, here’s how things were looking with $4.6B traded.

Everyone loves points. Wen ETF points?

CT has been focused on ETFs, but most who frequent Twitter are degenerate gamblers with 100% of their net worth in crypto. They aren’t ETF buyers. There are some users out there though.

Issuers want your business and are trying to align as much as they can. With a nice touch, VanEck is supporting Bitcoin developers.

It was unclear which side of the bell curve would have the best strategy for the event. Who knew how this would play out? Well, Cobie called it in a group a while back. We should been “selling the news”. RIP.

But is this time different? The hopium is running through the veins of some.

Larry Fink, the BlackRock CEO, is turning into one of our biggest shills. We’re tokenizing everything fam.

Yes, you heard that correctly. We are going to TOKENIZE EVERYTHING!

As BTC crashed, everyone moved to the next shiny thing, a possible Ethereum ETF. There is one man all eyes are on. He doesn’t need a suit. He doesn’t feel the cold. Your net worth is in his hands.

The bull run of Q3 2023 caused some unbelievable valuations. A blockchain can make $65 a day in fees and have a $12B fully diluted valuation.

The founder is making us pretty bullish though. Pump it.

Over on Optimism, it’s good to see Zach and various other good actors being rewarded for their work. Keep those airdrops coming.

If all of this crypto talk is getting too much, Jmo has a new topic that might interest you. This week he was dropping some handbag knowledge.

The pre-rich of this cycle will not be luxury watch enjoy-oors, they will be Chanel classic speculat-oors.

That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.

Team Shitcoin.com