January 5, 2024

Newsletter #274 - Bussin fr fr

Hey Shitcoiners,

Welcome to 2024! If you missed our review of 2023, make sure to check it out. Last year delivered. But onwards and upwards we go. In this edition of the newsletter, we will be going through the past couple of weeks. Before we jump into the action, here is the latest episode of Wage Cucking With Jmo! The team caught up to share their predictions for this year.

Now let’s get to it. What’s your edge for 2024?

The year started strong. The green candles were flying!

However, fast forward a couple of days all of that would change… kind of.

Never mind a couple of days. 5 hours is like a lifetime in this industry.

This was the biggest alt liquidation event in 2 years and many were rekt, especially those playing with leverage. However, at the end of it all, the BTC price hadn’t moved that much.

Pay your respects, anon.

Did Jim Cramer do this to us? The easiest counter-trade of your life was right in front of you.

Some cited rumblings of ETF rejections as a reason for the dump. Rumours began to swirl that a former Matrixport analyst was the man behind the claim.

Despite Markus being cited as a Matrixport analyst, he hadn’t spoken to the founder, Jihan, in a month!

Ah, “fuck your mother if you want fuck” was a great meme…

Those rumours would soon be forgotten and it was back to business. Queue the memes.

Arthur spitballed that if the ETF is rejected, the market will react the same. But will it? We don’t have a crystal ball but this has just confused us even more.

Caitlin has a message for you. Strap in.

If this goes the way we hope it does, CT might look like a very different place in 2025.

That’s enough ETF speculation and bull posting. While Bitcoin holds firm, L1s are fighting for market share and trying their best to steal Ethereum's lunch. Charcuterie boards for everyone!

A mass migration seemed to be in full flow in the last week of December, as many fled to the cheaper, faster Solana.

Solana is shitcoin central. Avalanche have their fair share of shitcoins too. They are ready to “cultivate and support the many new forms of creativity”. That’s code word for they are buying memecoins.

Ethereum needs a saviour at this point. A man to take the reigns and remind everyone why they are the big dogs around here. Vitalik is back and he’s on a mission.

While you all got drunk over the holidays, Vitalik was busy updating his roadmap diagram. This is peak performance.

Will it be enough to get people back on side? Alternative L1 and L2 chads appear to have physical superiority at the moment.

To hacks and scams now! Imagine being a leading auditor in the space but having your X account compromised. NGMI.

When Ric Flair is giving shitcoin investment advice, it’s not looking good. We deserve zero.

You might not get your money back if you buy some garbage in this space, but sometimes refunds do happen. All of that Mt. Gox money will be flowing into the space very soon. Some of it is already here. Well, kind of. Creditors have reported payments via the most decentralised payment app in the world, PayPal.


Mark Karpeles, the former CEO of Mt. Gox is making a comeback. He’s set to join Justin Sun as a YouTube influencer. He’s fixing old watches.

We are waiting for the next wave of crypto users to hit the markets. Some are saying they are already here. We hope your coins are bussin fr fr.

All hope is not lost. A reminder that Gajesh is only 16. The next generation may not be destined for shitcoin pumping. They might actually build things!

The current crop of crypto aficionados has their good and bad points. You can’t say they don’t know how to meme though.

Going into 2024 there might only be one way to make sure you don’t miss out. Buy everything.

Eventually, you will graduate and be giga-deep into the memecoins. Once that happens, it’s time to ask for help.

That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next year.

Team Shitcoin.com