December 15, 2023

Newsletter #269 - One Man's Sacrifice For Our Bull Run

Hi Shitcoiners,

It’s been another wild week in the world of crypto! The biggest story of the week concerned Binance and CZ, the company’s now former CEO. News broke of criminal charges against Binance on Tuesday and with that, $4.3B of penalties to be paid.

Here’s a full breakdown of the charges against both Binance and CZ. It’s worth perusing.

As a result of the charges, CZ would be required to step down from his role of CEO. He shared an update on Twitter.

Word on the street is the DOJ are looking to put CZ behind bars for up to 18 months for money laundering. What his sentence (if any) ends up being remains to be seen, but in the meantime CZ will be allowed to go back to his home in the UAE. It took a lot of “um’s” but he finally got the court onside.

US regulators are calling this a win, but so is crypto. Many expected prices to tank after the news broke and it didn’t. Has CZ come out of this looking like a chad?

Unlike Leonardo in this Wolf of Wall Street clip, CZ is definitely leaving for a bit while he gets all of this sorted out, but this video is still one of the best things we have seen this week!

Whatever happens, Shkreli has your back CZ. He’ll put in a good word with flacco. S’all good.

And CZ can always make amends with his arch nemesis SBF if he has to do a stint inside. He might give him some top tips on mackerel trading.

There was going to be legal action against Binance at some point in time, it has been alluded to for a while. For us to really have the bull market we deserve, some felt that sacrifices would have to be made.

Jesse Powell reacted to the Binance/CZ news. Now the regulators are going after offshore entities, is this good news from those based in the US?

Probably not. They’ll still get accused of shenanigans.

The Kraken CEO, Dave Ripley made a statement.

You can settle with the SEC once, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be back again. On another note, this image is disturbing. What’s up with Kraken’s butt?

News broke this week of a new Ethereum L2 on the block. Well, it’s not technically on the block yet, it will be sometime next year. Advertised as the “only Ethereum L2 with native yield for ETH and stablecoins, Blast came with a group of investors you might know quite well.

In just 48 hours $230 million had been “bridged” into the project!

By bridged, we don’t mean actually bridged. There is no L2 yet. If you sent in funds to get yourself some Blast points, you basically sent your coins to a multisig wallet that is getting yield on Lido and MakerDAO in the meantime. Welp.

Some consider Blast’s launch strategy a little controversial. You bridge in some coins to accrue points, then get others to use your referral code and bridge in coins so you get more points. Genius or ponzi? The two are not mutually exclusive.

All it took was Blast for everyone to forget about Bitlord’s new project. Supposedly “it’s shit and will rug”. RIP.

Speaking of lost funds, Kyberswap had $46 million stolen from it’s coffers.

The attacker was very open to feedback as he worked out his next move. He quickly swapped his USDC for ETH when someone told him those stablecoins risked being frozen.

Imagine being given $55M to develop a sci-fi series, then realising that you could make more money on shitcoins. Here’s a short story.

We don’t understand the context here, for all we know this could be Carl Rinsch.

A reminder that we missed Doge Day! Much epic.

We round this one off with a message from Cobie. He’s in Argentina and he wanted to tell you that your Ethereum L2 is not getting real world adoption.

That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.