December 15, 2023

Newsletter #258 - Are You Still With Us?

Hey Shitcoiners,

Are you still with us? If you have made it this far it is too late to capitulate. If you are still around from when this next image graced our screens, there’s no reason you won’t be around for many more years to come. GMI.

Bitconnect was a controversy of the past, and FTX is still playing out. FTX/Alameda-related news has populated our feeds over the last week. As SBF detoxes behind bars, Martin Shkreli hosted a space to run through how Sam’s time inside has been going so far. It’s looking pretty bleak. As always, Autism Capital provided an excellent rundown of events.

It turns out Sam may not be spending all of his time in general population though. He could be writing his memoir during his daily airgapped laptop time.

Another individual entangled in the FTX situation is Ryan Salame. This week, He pleaded guilty to conspiracy to make unlawful contributions, defrauding the Federal Election Commission, and conspiracy to operate an unlicensed money-transferring business. As part of that plea, he was ordered to forfeit $1.5 Billion…

The funny thing is, Ryan probably doesn’t have $1.5B. But he'll be off the hook if he forfeits the $6M agreed, a couple of houses, a Porsche, and a few other things. Wild.

What the hell happened to Trabucco?

Those involved in FTX are still tied up in legal proceedings, meaning their redemption arcs cannot be attempted yet. Kyle and Su however are deep in theirs. Supposedly some in the space think they did nothing wrong…

Faruk Özer will not be getting a redemption story any time soon. That is several hundred lifetimes away. Yikes.

There has been a lot of Binance-related FUD flying around lately. Queue the CZ tweet to squash that. 4.

He dropped an X shill too. The people are indeed retarded.

The market did bounce a bit and your favourite X personalities are trying to make sense of it.

Do you remember the days when crypto news involving Visa would make the market jump 10%? Those were good times. Now it doesn’t really do much.

While we estimate that the readership is far too right of the bell curve to be HEX hodlers, we still like to show you how terrible things are going for the HEXicans. If you missed how the crash went down, here’s a good overview.

Even the best fall for a rug from time to time. If you have ever wondered why ZachXBT went on a mission to destroy bad actors, here’s why. Enjoy the Zach lore.

The storylines we see play out on the daily are the stuff Hollywood dreams of. It’s a real shame that we’ll never see it on the big screen… Many of the characters of Cobie’s proposed show ended up being scammers, quitters or god-tier degenerates.

As we all wait for bullish candles, remember there are “traders” out there who only have two possible outcomes. They feel nothing or have their day ruined. It might be time to reevaluate that career path of yours.

If being a tradooor doesn’t work out for you, be an influencer, get a % of the token supply, and profit.

That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.