December 15, 2023

Newsletter #254 - Shitposting Galore

Hi Shitcoiners,

We have plenty to get through, so let’s begin. We kick things off with a GM with a poignant message.

With little new money coming into the space, it is PvP out there. Everyone is looking for the next meta and Gabriel has the alpha you need.

We are coming to that time in every bear market when a boomer company mentioning us gives us the tingles We aren’t sure if that’s a good or a bad thing but PayPal are getting in on the action.

As you would expect from PayPal, which has a history of locking up people’s funds, there is a catch. Your money can quickly become their money.

As the saying goes, if you don't know where the yield comes from, you are the yield.

In last week’s newsletter, we had a deep dive into Mich’s situation at Curve. It wasn’t looking good but many underestimated how proficient Mich was at raising capital.

Alchemix, who were affected by the Vyper situation, had some good news to share.

Word on the street was that Curve was getting the hacked coins back, but they wouldn’t get it all.

Was this some 5000D chess?

Put yourself in Mich’s shoes. You have just avoided having to liquidate a couple of mansions. You are on cloud nine. You could sail off into the sunset. Maybe have a margarita to celebrate. But no, the buzz of large debt positions is just too much. Back down the rabbit hole you go!

Here’s a meme that sums up how many feel.

Speaking of HEX, the #Hexicans have lost the plot. We won’t even add the links to these next tweets as we don’t expect or want you to click them.

Crypto Twitter is an interesting place. In this weird corner of the internet, there are heroes, villains and plenty of people just trying to make it. With Twitter recently introducing its ad-sharing revenue program it was time for CT to double down on the money-making schemes. Enter Friend.Tech, the platform allowing influencers to “tokenize” themselves and sell shares.

The “marketplace for your friends” idea has been tried before, but has it ever been built by crypto natives?

It barely works and it’s hard to understand but that’s why it’s great.

While the zoomers trade personality tokens, the boomers are eagerly awaiting Bitcoin ETF news.

One NGO doesn’t want your mom and dad to kind of own Bitcoin.

Speaking of Bitcoin, there was drama as Libbitcoin was used by one wallet to generate random seeds. That has now been exploited. Welp.

Eric thinks this should never have happened.

But others think the documentation wasn’t explicit enough.

nd4.eth might as well have used Libbitcoin, he’s on a doomer mission to burn it all to the ground.

Justin Sun meanwhile isn’t burning a thing, he’s raking in the gains. If there’s an opportunity for easy money, Justin will take it. What a chad.

And we all know that Justin definitely does not own a majority stake in Huobi. He has no reason to prop it up. Or does he have so much money he has no idea where he has it stored?

Justin Sun - the deep state construct.

Obviously FUD.

We move on to FTX! With SBF’s trial looming, Ryan Salame is considering a guilty plea.

Who have you got on your team?

Some in the community might add Kyle and Su to that list. “If I still had 10b”…

These crypto funds generating 15.2% returns must not be yolo’ing on the leverage like 3AC. They didn’t even have to do that though. They just had to HODL.

Crypto funds these days are generating the same profits as Nigerian CT.

While we explore news on the African continent the Kenyan police are seizing the eyeballs!

While in SF the orbs will be smashed.

That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.