December 15, 2023

Newsletter #229 - We Are So Back! Maybe?

Hey Shitcoiners,

Some are saying “we are so back” while the bears are confident we are heading back down. In this week’s newsletter, we have all of the action from the past week. Buckle up. But first, a reminder to check out this week’s episode of Wage Cucking with Jmo! Oh, and give our Twitter post a retweet if you are a fan.

To the news! This week saw some bullish price action with Bitcoin passing $25,000 and the rest of the market following.

We don’t know what caused this pump, but many trying to front-run Hong Kong could be a plausible reason.

While we wish we could be in a state of “Up Only” forever, this time it was not meant to be.

Our body is ready for the “George Soros is manipulating the market” memes.

It’s a confusing time in crypto-land. We don’t know what to believe. Are we heading into the perfect “black swan” storm?

We have been wondering who the signers for SBF’s bond were for a while now, and finally, we have answers. Those Stanford links run deep!

We will just leave this here.

Sam was back in court this week as he faced questions about his VPN usage. Supposedly Sam likes sports. We find this hard to believe.

It all sounds like a cover-up. He just doesn’t want to tell the court about his OnlyFans account.

This is all starting to make sense. After all, he did lose access to his polycule muse…

While infamously being “not on the run” Do Kwon is set to have his day with the SEC. 

It’s worth noting that these are civil charges. GMI?

Binance is another primary target for US regulators. They are ready for some stiff penalties.

Two men who have seemingly got away with it are Kyle and Su. Will it be third time lucky?

To hacks! Platypus were the latest victims and it turns out, four lines of code could have prevented the whole thing from happening.

When you face problems like these, there is only one man for the case. ZachXBT.

And remember, just because you’re a 1337 h4x0r doesn’t mean you are immune from liquidation.

Crypto is an industry full of false promises. Those volume numbers are often just wash trading as BitMart demonstrated below!

You can get rekt in the markets, or rekt on food delivery. Gainzy, here with a sub-optimal pizza for $250.

Picture this. You are experiencing a strong bout of sleep paralysis. Standing over you is a man ready to shill you a new whitelist.

The NFT circle jerk is reaching new depths. Have you ever lived if you haven’t inscribed an ETH NFT on Bitcoin and then wrapped it to sell on OpenSea?

There are some true Bitcoin maxis out there. Then others are just here for a quick buck. How the tides have turned.

We wrap up this newsletter with a threat to our livelihood. When ChatGPT learns how to incorporate memes, sarcasm and wit into a newsletter, we may have to call it a day.

That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.