Newsletter #55 - how's that portfolio looking this week? 👹

August 16, 2019
Newsletter Archive

Good day Shitcoiners,

As protesters fill the streets of Hong Kong and stock markets stutter, it’s looking pretty bleak out there. What did those Crypto-Twitter influencers tell you again?

“Invest in Bitcoin, it’s the best place for your money when the world collapses!”

Well, you’re getting screwed wherever you put your money, sorry about that.

Now to an important announcement. Shitcoin TV has launched a 24/7 Stream of all of your favourite memes and crypto content!

Now to the action. As you might have noticed Bitcoin dipped below $10k once again… and literally everything else tanked too.

One man called it.

This also coincided with a hot scoop about PLUS Token. This Chinese PONZI that is selling off all of the crypto it has amassed… well someone with the keys in their ranks who is not already in jail is.

Oh, and yes, we write PONZI in caps now for effect just like Dovey Wan does.

In times of great uncertainty, bold decisions are made. The following piece of investment advice could end up really well or go really, really bad.

We interrupt this newsletter to bring you a special announcement!

If you aren’t already using SideShift AI what are you waiting for? Get your ACCESS CODE and start shifting between cryptocurrencies today

Now back to our regular programming. If you thought you were having a bad week we suggest you check out what Reggie Middleton is up against. We hear the SEC doesn’t mess around.

And speaking of bad weeks, imagine airdropping 5 million BCH ($300 per coin) instead of 5 million SPICE ($0.000832 per token). That sounds like a bad day at the office.

That’s enough shitty news for one newsletter! Are you a killer engineer? Would you like to look at tits, ass or dicks (we don’t discriminate) in the office without looking like a weirdo?

SpankChain are hiring!

Meanwhile, more building is happening. Limestone Network is busy building a smart city using blockchain tech! A cool project it seems. We can only hope it isn’t like the IOTA smart city situation… is that even still a thing?

Now to the funny. Is your cryptocurrency of choice from the decentralizé region?

If you have encountered the following, it’s very clear your crypto of choice isn’t even a sparkling distributed ledger, it’s more of a $3 carton (note: note bottle) of red that tastes like vinegar.

But don’t worry guys and girls, you are still way ahead of the curve.

Before we go we leave you with this. If you’re nearing the weekend and wondering how to spend your time we suggest you take Andreas’ advice. No, he is not linking you to himself (Brekken, Berken, go figure), he is linking you to a must-listen.

To stay in the loop on all the things you need to know, follow Andreas on Twitter. And remember now is your chance to apply for a SideShift AI ACCESS CODE. Join the fun.

See you next week.


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