Shitcoin Newsletter #141 - The Aftermath

May 28, 2021
Newsletter Archive

Yo Shitcoiners,

We hope you are comfortable because we have a mind-blowing amount of spicy crypto content for you to get through this week. This industry never gets old.

You may have heard about a secret miners meeting happening taking place. Michael Saylor hooked Elon up with “North American Bitcoin miners” to talk about renewable energy solutions.

In case you were wondering, that meeting wasn’t with most of the actual miners…

When you rephrase that meeting like this it sounds kind of scary.

We recorded an impromptu interview with Marshall Long, who knows more about mining than most. Hear his take on what went down and if Saylor and Musk can pull this back below.

Elon needs to do something we think. Tesla’s bags are not fairing so well…

Here’s an Elon meme to lighten the mood.

Speaking of billionaires, some of them have come out saying they’re buying (or have bought) the dip.

Cobie responded.

Did you ever really think those billionaires would buy the top? They want to take your bags off your hands for cheap.

Vitalik, also a billionaire, nailed it.

So what caused that huge sell off last week? Was it China banning Bitcoin? Or retail getting tired of single digit multiplier gains? Some say it was actually because Justin fucked someone’s wife. Justin denies all involvement.

If you have been into crypto for any amount of time, you would think you’d be substantially up. Turns out many are using that 100x leverage and getting rekt.

We did share some amazing content in last week’s newsletter as people got lost their portfolios, but the good stuff is only really coming to light now that the dust has settled.

It seems that girlfriends are once again on hold. Romano rallied the troops. We are all going to make it.

Here is some advice from an actual woman if you prefer to listen to them over an anime character.

Crypto is definitely all about equal opportunities. Here are some girls who also got rekt. They look like they’re having a better time than you in your Mom’s basement though.

And here is Charles posing with a girl who looks like she’s being held captive.

Did you invest your life savings in Doge thinking you’d be retired by next week? Enjoy that drive to work!

The rest of retail logged into their exchange accounts the Monday after the selloff wondering what the hell had happened. They are now community members. Welcome!

We anticipate an uptick in business for therapists in the very near future.

Here’s a fun little video depicting the demise of retail.

And here is what the laser eye club are up to…

At we like to be helpful. If you’re struggling to pay your bills this month why not pick up a new full-time position? We hear the “staff room” behind the deep fat fryers is a great place to get new dog coin picks.

This guy should probably apply at the golden arches, that way he can acquire more dip for cheap.

Here’s another great job opportunity. It comes with a Benz!

Remember team, Bitcoin trading is not for the faint-hearted.

Paid shilling on the other hand is a great way to boost your income! Build that audience, get those free tokens and then dump that shit on your audience. It’s a guaranteed way to make insane gains… and have to go into hiding.

Soulja Boy is an interesting bloke. We get the impression he’s not all there.

If you were thinking about buying the dip, and you live in the UK, remember you are being irresponsible. You aren’t supposed to get rich.

This feels like a good time to highlight that Bitcoiners have been buying and selling for years (funny how markets work hey!).

Mainstream media have also been saying Bitcoin is dead for years too.

Hodling is not easy. Be like this guy. Lock them away and never give them up.

To a little history! Just over 11 years ago Laszlo paid 10,000 BTC for a pizza, making history in the process.

He’s not sad about it though. He got his pizza and he’s still famous!

Laszlo could not have known that crypto would take off in the way it did. Crypto exchanges are seeing absolutely mind-boggling numbers.

Meanwhile, Hydra is doing insane numbers too on the darknet. This one actually has real hitmen?!

Now what is a newsletter without some scams, rugs and hacks? Exit scam szn is here.

And another BSC project took a hit as $7.2m was drained from BurgerSwap. If you were affected by this, we have no words for you. Don’t trust burger flippers with your money.

Meanwhile, GameStop are converting their GME gains into some sort of NFT project. It’s a weird world we live in.

If all of this is getting too much, it may be time to take Cobie’s advice and just walk away, come back in 15 years and ETH 3 may be live, while you may also be a trillionaire.

Remember to Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too.


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