Shitcoin Newsletter #139 - Elon Psyops, Goats & Dogs

May 14, 2021
Newsletter Archive

Yo Shitcoiners,

We have a lot of news to digest this week. There was mainstream adoption, normies shilling illiquid shitcoins, goats, dogs and market dumps. Talk about brain frazzling.

Before we get to it we’d like to turn your attention to our new episode of the Show that just dropped! We caught up with Paul Sztorc to discuss his BIP 300 proposal, Taproot and plenty more. We even had a chat about entering the Citadel. Check it out on YouTube below.

Let’s begin with a reality check. It’s highly probable that you are not a genius.

You just have a problem.

Regardless of that, you could be living the dream like this guy. Which is an admirable spot to be in.

Mark Zuckerberg got everyone talking this week as he announced that he has a goat named “Bitcoin”. It’s as if he’s taken a leaf out of Elon’s book with this one. Maybe their secret billionaire Whatsapp chat egged them on.

Tom Brady is also another high profile celebrity to get onboard. We’re eagerly awaiting the FTX sponsorship! They seem to be sponsoring a lot of athletes these days.

Last weekend you may have seen that Elon appeared on SNL. Normies gathered around their laptops buying Doge in anticipation of a pump.

That didn’t happen. In fact, following the show Doge’s price tanked. Elon wasn’t going to stop there either as Tesla decided to bring up the whole Bitcoin energy consumption debate again. The whole market tanked too.

Bitcoiners were quick to make some valid points.

And cancel their Tesla orders.

Samson began questioning his purchase. The only suitable solution is to buy a gas guzzling petrol whip now in retaliation.

Coincidentally, earlier this week Michael Saylor dropped some knowledge bombs on Bitcoin consumption. This is an epic watch.

We hope that these media appearances don’t mean he’s ran out of fiat to keep pumping our bags.

All of this action was perfect for Peter Schiff to jump back into action. Supposedly Bitcoin is dead… for the thousandth time.

It wasn’t all bad news though. Elon is supposedly working with “Doge devs” to improve Doge. This would be interesting if Doge hadn’t been abandoned as a project for some time now. Nevertheless, we are expecting normies to buy in as they do.

One Goldman Sachs executive made so much from Elon pumping his bags that he got out of the investment banking game.

In any other week the following story would have been right at the top of the newsletter. Vitalik sold a bunch of dog tokens to donate to India Covid relief.

Larry from The Block (which eerily sounds like a Jennifer Lopez hit single) gave some analysis. After everyone and their dog bought canine tokens hoping to become millionaires, will lawsuits be in the pipeline for Vitalik?

There were an awful lot of degens who got in after all…

All of this ETH action is good for Ameen’s joint intake anyway.

If you think you’re going to become a multimillionaire trading dog tokens we have some unfortunate news, it might not work out. There aren’t many who pull it off. This guy did (without the dog tokens though).

Here’s an example of someone not pulling it off.

And two examples why so many “investors” are going to get rekt this cycle.

There’s only one way this ends. Don’t get left holding the bag.

Now to Craig Wright! He’s suing Peter Todd.

At least Calvin is now saying that it’s not important who created Bitcoin anyway…

Ebay have decided to enter the NFT game! We’re eagerly awaiting the next NFT bubble to dump our worthless PNGs that will be called “antiques”.

This shit is getting very weird. Now Merriam-Webster is selling an NFT of their definition of NFTs. What the fuck.

That’s the wrap! ‍Remember to Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too.


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